The SECRET word

As one who loves words, quotes, and those who write good and uplifting literature in the world, when I came across Kevin Hall's book, Aspire, I was captivated and inspired.  He focuses each chapter on a word, describes it's true meaning, and applies it to life teaching lessons we can learn from each described word.  The most intriguing of the words he conveys, was one he termed "The Secret Word".  I share a brief summary of how he learned of it and its poignant meaning to illustrate how this word has had a profound affect on me and my family.

Kevin Hall had traveled to Vienna, Austria, to discuss with Viktor's family how to fulfill Viktor Frankl's vision of having a Statue of Responsibility as a bookend monument on the U. S. West Coast, to the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast.  While there, he met a fabric shopkeeper, Pravin Cherkoori.  Pravin noticed the small pin replica of the Statue of Responsibility on Kevin's lapel, of two hands clasped together, and was intrigued by its meaning.  After a brief discussion of how it depicted our responsibility to reach out, lighten each other's burdens, and uplift each other, Pravin brought out a big leather book and asked Kevin to sign his "Book of Greats".  Seeing that people such as Ghandi's family, Viktor Frankl, and Mother Teresa had signed it, Kevin kindly declined saying he shouldn't, nor considered himself "one of the greats" as Pravin had said.  It was then that Pravin invited him to dinner and told Kevin he had a word he wanted to teach him.

At dinner, Pravin taught him about an ancient Hindi word that had an even deeper meaning to him than charity:  'Genshai'.  He told its meaning, relating how as children they were taught to never "look at, touch, or address another person in a way that would make them feel small", including to their own selves.  And how, when Kevin refused to sign the "Book of Greats", he was treating himself "small".  That one, powerful lesson, taught Kevin Hall a myriad of truths.

The whole book, Aspire, is probably my most loved and recommended book to anyone looking for a good read, but the "secret word" of genshai has affected me deeply, and is something I love to share with others.  So, as Scott and I have taught our kids about this principle, they are learning it is not enough to bite your tongue and not say something rude, while giving a mean look.  It really has to come from inside--their genuine desire for others.  It is truly wanting good for everyone, and not wishing any negative or bad for them.  This positive thought process changes something inside for the person thinking it, so they don't want to even giving a glance, a word, or a thought that would make an individual feel small or less than.

Just imagine every interaction with others practicing the principle of Genshai.  As you drive in the car, no matter the actions of others around, keeping calm and never wanting others feel "small", even if they don't return the same to you, can at a minimum change how you feel as you drive.  Imagine the teaching moments with kids, when they have an experience at school or with friends when they felt small--how they didn't like how it felt, how they wouldn't want others to feel the same way, and how they can return kindness for meanness and practice genshai to others even if they don't do the same.  How would interactions with others be affected if we thought of never even giving a glance, an annoyed sigh, or address someone that would make them feel less than. 

Now, I realize this may be a kind of "Enchanted" way to wish real life to be.  But, like that movie provokes thought of how fairy tale characters would think and act and deal with daily life differently than we do (and humorously shows how that fairy tale attitude/perspective really can influence real life interactions), genshai may also have a similar affect on those around us. 
As we act and think differently, we can actually be a force for change in those around us as well.  Think about it, typically we react to others based on how they act toward us.  A crying baby is usually soothed by a soft, shushing mother, but if they hear or sense more stress or agitation by their caretaker, it usually is returned in kind plus more!  A rude response by a child to a mother usually gets one back, as the parent doesn't want to show they tolerate disrespect.  When we come into a room happy and energetic, and get annoyed, mean responses, we tend to change immediately and think, 'What's wrong with them?" and we want them to feel as small as we felt they treated us. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true: If we treat someone rude and carelessly, but they respond back with sweetness and kindness still, it can also immediately change us to act in kind, softening our heart and inspiring us to do better.

It is really the same principle taught by the Savior to love others as He loves us, to turn the other cheek, to return a soft answer for wrath, to treat others and see others how He treats and sees us.


Let genshai affect our daily interactions, knowing it is truly just practicing genuine love, care, and concern for each other, as the Savior does for us!

Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. (Psalms 82:6)