What can we learn from COVID-19? ?

 I heard a friend give a profound insight on what God wants us to learn from Covid-19. She said she thinks our test in all of this is for God to see how we are doing on “lov[ing] our neighbor as ourselves”. That made me really think. It rang true to my heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks!

“Love one another, as I have loved you.” This is a lofty goal! It instantly resets perspective of the true reason we are here. To trying to learn to be more like & love more like Him.

If the pandemic melted away all the extras in our lives & left us with the basics, how did we do in the two fundamental commandments? Are we loving God with all our heart, might and strength? And is the litmus test of how we are doing loving God, how well we love our neighbor as ourselves?

Do we love each other— Democrat or Republican? Mask or no mask? Online school or in school? Sports or no sports? Rioter or policeman? No matter the color of our skin, no matter our religious beliefs or lack there of? It reminds me it may be the best test of how well we are becoming like He is.

Can we love each other in all our perfect diversity, difference of opinions, choices of how we live— and can we allow each other the same? We all love our free agency and our ability to choose what we think and do and value it so much...it’s everyone else’s agency we have a problem with!

I believe God is happy when we allow ourselves to be ourselves no matter what we believe and for His children to love each other. Anyway. This is my Hope for us all and my goal in this crazy 2020 in which we live.

It's Time :)

I began this Blog a yester-year ago, in 2013. It began with a thought, after Elder Bednar's talk about using social media for good, that I could do something. Something small, insignificant from the world's standards, but that would stand up for what IS Good in the world. And celebrate seeing good, being good, and doing good. Recognizing the good in the world; the good people; the good decisions, the good actions, the good deeds, the good hearts, the goodNESS of things and people around us.  Little did I know just how much more important that would be in the future, and NOW I feel I need to continue and do my tiny part in adding good to this world of change!  

2020 has been a whirlwind of unpredictable events and unprecedented times. Fires rage, floods roared and earthquakes, quite literally shook us all. TP became "the" commodity, food storage and emergency preparedness became a focus, and a new 6' imaginary wall around us all, went up, as high fives were replaced with high elbows, and warm embraces by air hugs.  Masks have helped life start to have a little semblance of what once was, as our "new normal" has emerged. Many mental health professionals are describing this Covid-19 pandemic, a "perfect storm" for anxiety, depression, and fear. As doctors and government leaders close the world economy down to save as many lives as possible, a new pandemic of fear, and instability, and anxiety caused by lost jobs, lost homes, and lost hopes of a "normal" school year, begins. The mental health professionals say the aftermath of the economic shutdown and health crisis, will rise the fear and panic of people, which will be felt for many, many more years.  On top of this, political attacks underscore how different people view things. Then riots and mobs desecrating cities, and pointless deaths of black lives and police brutality, enrage all humans.

It is easy to feel scared. Hopeless.  Insecure. And wonder what our future holds? Inside some may question if we should just hit "reset" and start again?  But through it all, there are GREAT things surfacing.  We all had to focus on being HOME, our family, our individual faith, and spend time on what we valued.  What if THIS is exactly what we, as a people, as the human race, and world, actually needed??  I found this amazingly poignant quote, refocus my thoughts about this year. And inspire me to USE 2020, to become better.    

May we focus our thoughts and hearts and hopes on what IS in our lives, instead of what is not. And use this opportunity to find what we all have more in common than we have in differences.  Let's all step up, stand up, rise up to be the best versions of ourselves we can be. And reach OUT to lift others to stand as well.  2020 is not a horrible year. It is OUR year. When people talk of seeing better and hindsight is 2020, let us show it by how we chose to live, now.  

And to the youth, never forget: if you can live through this uncertain time of change, you can get through ANYTHING.  There is nothing to fear.  You are strong. You are determined.  You are awesome.  Nothing can get you down.

We've got this! 2020 is the reset we need, to change. :)

If I Only Had Today

I love to ask people, "Are you living the life you thought you would, when you planned it in your head?"  Most would say no, but I believe it is all by design! The funniest answer I received to that question is my friend who said the biggest difference between what was in her head and reality, was in her head, her kids didn't talk!  They just sat in the back of the Volvo with the cute outfits she had picked out for them! We know life is much different than this!

I perform with a women's dance group who put on a program celebrating womanhood and motherhood and testimonies of Jesus Christ called, Diamond Dance Company.  We dance while live singers sing and it truly is an awesome experience!  I choreographed a dance called "If I Only Had Today"--I love this song, because it reminds me what this life should be about.  TIME is one of our greatest blessings--how are we using it?  It is the one thing that makes this earthly experience uniquely mortal.  To God time is one eternal round; to us, it depicts our very life experience.  It defines us, because ultimately, what we spend our time on, determines WHO we will become.  At the end of a life, people define their success on how much time they spent on connecting, relationships, and who they developed themselves to be.

The song says: 
But if there were no more tomorrows, If I knew that I could not stay
I know how I'd spend every minute, If I only had today.
I'd hold you and listen, And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink.
I'd tell you I loved you over and over, And for once I'd just let the phone ring.
Then I'd remind you of forever, And how our love would never change
If I only had today.



Now we cannot plan exactly how our time will be spent here.  Most often, there are difficult things we go through.  Some are single, others of us have a special needs child, some suffer a divorce, haven't had children, others a health or mental challenge, some are dealing with a trial of their or their family's faith.  But I have always felt our trials are the very things that qualify us to live with God again! This last General Women's Meeting, Linda Reeves said the same as she related how a dear friend of hers had endured great sadness and trials although she had done all she could to live a good life.  She said: "Sister, I do not know why we have the many trials that we have, but it is my personal feeling that the reward is so great, ...we may feel to say to our merciful, loving Father, 'Was that all that was required?' I believe that if we could daily remember..the depth of that love our Heavenly Father and our Savior have for us, we would be willing to do anything to be back in Their presence....  What will it matter, dear sisters, what we suffered here, if in the end, those trials are the very things which qualify us for eternla life and exaltation...with our Father and Savior?"

My trials become blessings, not because they change, but because I CHANGE!  I'm on my knees more.  I'm at the temple more. I search the scriptures more, I'm more humble and teachable.  Let us press forward spending our time on that which matters most!  Dallin H. Oaks states:  "What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow--through our premature death of through His unexpected coming--what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What forgiveness would we extend? What testimonies would we share? If we would do those things then, why not now?"  There is POWER in faithful, positive women!  Let us spend our precious time lifting, encouraging, loving, and becoming!

JOYful living

One of my main goals of 2015 is to live happily, despite life's challenges.  To model to my children that we can CHOOSE happiness "come what may". I know this notion can solicit varied responses…a rolling of the eyes, a sigh of those who think "she hasn't yet had big enough challenges", a polite smile from one who thinks that is a nice but naive idea, or a hardened look that such a belief comes from one "who doesn't know anything".  It can be a scary goal, knowing my own weaknesses and the stresses of life!

Today I read this quote which led to a brainstorming of how I can accomplish my lofty 2015 goal.
 
 "My dear brothers and sisters, there will be days and nights when you feel overwhelmed, when your hearts are heavy and your heads hang down. Then, please remember, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer, is the Head of this Church. It is His gospel. He wants you to succeed.   
He gave His life for just this purpose. He is the Son of the living God. And He will help you.” —President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
 

This underscores the fact that life is clearly NOT intended, nor supposed, to be easy.  It seems a dichotomy:  we are here to be tested, tried, stretched to our limits to gain experience and choose faith; yet, "men are that they might have JOY" (2 Ne. 2:27).  How is this possible?  I know the power of positivity and try to be a positive person, but if I'm truly honest in my day to day life, I don't know that message speaks louder than the little comments of frustration that I let escape & come with the crazy schedule of a family of 7, stressed from the many commitments and expectations we all have day in and day out.  In fact, I'm pretty sure my cute kids would agree they hear much more of pressing to get their chores done, homework completed, help with siblings, stop fighting, or to quickly jump in the car to get to our next hurried event!  I let the small, mundane things of life overtake a fun, positive attitude and I give in to becoming annoyed, frustrated, and feeling the need to make the most of a "teaching moment" when a child falls short somehow!  
 
I want to face each day with the question: "How can I bring happiness to this next situation or person I interact with?"  I have concluded that for me, I must begin with this thought in mind, take time to think through what my day entails and how I can model joy in it, focus on what positive attributes I'm trying to develop, then PRAY: to see my kids, my experiences, my life, through an eternal perspective lens.  My friend reinforces to her kids to "make someone smile today" and it helps them focus on another and thus become happier themselves.

Dieter Uchtdorf's quote above tells us we all will feel heavy, overwhelmed, and down from life, but He knows we will succeed.  He, in fact, "gave his life for that purpose"!  He will help us.  Adam and Eve "became like the gods", why?  Because they knew "good from evil" and that everything has its "opposite".  Then their ultimate commandment:  that they "may have JOY" in their living and knowledge.  Hmmm, much of life's greatest trials and tests come because some use that great gift of choice God gave us all, for the despair of others.  They steal, take advantage, murder, abuse, lie, force, manipulate, and waste away their lives taking away the peace, security, and trust of others.  Still, we are to have JOY?  In rape?  In deceit?  In murder, plunder, blame, cheating?  

As I pondered this, the thought came that the joy doesn't come from those who commit such acts, nor in enduring them, but in the fact that Christ OVERCAME them all!  That no matter what people say or do, Jesus Christ "gave his life" to overcome it all and can leave peace where there was heartache; happiness where there was sorrow and despair.   

“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee” (3 Nephi 22:10). “I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (3 Nephi 22:8).  He will not forget!  His "grace is sufficient".  Pres. Uchtdorf concludes:  "My dear friends, the Savior heals the broken heart and binds up your wounds (see Psalm 147:3). Whatever your challenges may be, wherever you live on this earth, your faithful membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the divine powers of the gospel of Jesus Christ will bless you to endure joyfully to the end."  ("Have We Not Reason to Rejoice?", Oct. 2007, Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
 
Those we enjoy being around most are usually HAPPY people.  May we be one of those who smile, uplift and inspire happiness! Here's to seeing JOY and being FULL of it!

Mountains and Mustard Seeds

"Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the 

unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism."

The other day I was doing Personal Progress (a program designed to develop temporal and spiritual talents of LDS young women) with my daughter, and as we read one particular talk on the subject of faith, this quote stood out:

“‘If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove’ (Matthew 17:20). I have never witnessed the removal of an actual mountain. But because of faith, I have seen a mountain of doubt and despair removed and replaced with hope and optimism. Because of faith, I have personally witnessed a mountain of sin replaced with repentance and forgiveness. And because of faith, I have personally witnessed a mountain of pain replaced with peace, hope, and gratitude.”  --Richard E. Edgley

Previous to this I have always considered this scripture about those who have faith like a mustard seed being able to move mountains, very literal.  I still know true faith can move mountains, however, now I view that scripture in a much more practical and applicable way to our life day in and day out.  Interestingly, I do not necessarily think it will be any less difficult than moving a real mountain!  

Let me explain.  This new, spiritual and emotional understanding and meaning of this scripture now applies to almost every aspect of our lives: to relationships, to discouragement, to our attitudes, to everyday encounters, to overcoming our weaknesses, and in having faith that no matter our circumstances, things can and do change for the better!  Edgley's first example involves moving a "mountain of doubt and despair" into "hope and optimism".  Then, a "mountain of sin" being "replaced with repentance and forgiveness".  Next, faith moving "a mountain of pain" and replacing it "with peace, hope, and gratitude."  

This made me think: What is our mountain??  What seems to be so overbearing, so overwhelming, so  daunting and impossible, that it looms over us emotionally or spiritually, like a mountain that could never be moved?  Then comes this truth:  "Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours."

This is both empowering and intimidating!  No matter where we find ourselves, no matter what we encounter, our faith in the Savior, His gospel, His Atonement, can move ANY mountain we face.  Do we believe this?  In thinking of what our "mountain" we now face is, are we able to apply our FAITH, our BELIEF in Jesus Christ and His power, to help us move it?  Just as I first viewed the faith as a mustard seed scripture, I think I tend to view most things in life as literal and usually look for my ultimate solution to a problem, relationship, or weakness, in studying a certain area and acquiring and applying secular knowledge.  Of course I pray about it, I look for answers in the scriptures, I believe God will help me, but maybe I lean too much on what I think I should do, an important step, yes, but I probably rely less on my faith that truly it is God who can get me through.  Again, I know this, but I don't always ACT like I know this!

The Savior knows what we face.  He KNOWS our grief and our battles.  He has literally FELT what WE FEEL, right now, in our mountain of struggle or growth.  Again, do we BELIEVE this??  And if we believe and have faith in this principle, are we ACTING on it?  Because belief only gets us so far.  The application of our faith is what brings the MIRACLES!  Applying true faith, balanced with doing our all, knowing Christ is aware of and loves us and WILL HELP US, that is what moves our mountains ! 

In conclusion, this sums up this amazing talk on faith.  For faith is a test of this life.  Will we believe, even when things don't always make sense to our temporal minds?  Richard Edgley states:    

"There is much that I do not know. I do not know the details of the organization of matter into the beautiful world we live in. I do not understand the intricacies of the Atonement, how the Savior’s sacrifice can cleanse all repentant people, or how the Savior could suffer 'the pain of all men' (D&C 18:11)….I do not know why my beliefs sometimes conflict with assumed scientific or secular knowledge...  But while I don’t know everything, I know the important. I know the plain and simple gospel truths that lead to salvation and exaltation. I know that the Savior did suffer the pain of all men and that all repentant people can be cleansed from sin. And what I don’t know or don’t completely understand, with the powerful aid of my faith, I bridge the gap and move on, partaking of the promises and blessings of the gospel. And then, as Alma teaches, our faith brings us to a perfect knowledge (see Alma 32:34). By moving forward into the unknown, armed only with hope and desire, we show evidence of our faith and our devotion to the Lord."

I want to CHOOSE FAITH!  I want to BELIEVE in spite of what I see with my earthly eyes, or feel in my earthly heart.  I know believing in the power of Jesus Christ can and will move any mountains we face! 

Life by the YARD is Hard…

LANDSCAPING--WHAT A PAIN!!!

Now that spring is here, not having a yard is draining on my family and I.  The kids just want to be outside, and when they do go outside, I'm left with a dirt & sand trail INSIDE!  We finally found a landscaper to get things done and have been doing our best to level, add rock walls, put in a trampoline hole, grade, finish our deck, ETC.

Then came the RAIN.  Our trampoline hole became an unintended swimming pool…full of rainwater and mud that wouldn't drain.  Add that to machinery breaking down of my landscaper, it became a disaster of half done projects.  A DAILY reminder of everything that WASN'T getting done in my life, as each glance out the window instantly disheartened and burdened me.  So silly on the one hand, yet a very real source of discontent and discouragement that seemed to affect everything else, on the other!

I felt stuck.  Interrupted.  Frozen.  At a standstill.  An ominous cloud looming overhead, that halted any other progress because all I could see was that unfinished, problematic, stress-causing pile of DIRT of a yard.  Suddenly it seemed it would NEVER get done!

Have you ever been so caught up in a "moment" of life or in an experience so encompassing, that it affected every other area of your life?  I realized I was drowning in my own mind and needed, wanted, to get out!  Then I came across a simple, yet profound quote:

President Monson's wise counsel of, "Life by the yard is hard; by the inch, it's a cinch", illuminated me!  I started realizing I was overwhelmed by my "yard", in BOTH senses. :)  I needed to concentrate on my "inch".  The one thing I could look around and get DONE.  The small effort portion of each day that could impact, for good, the remainder of it.

I decided to take back control of my stalting thoughts and of my life.  I pulled out the most grounded, real, principle centered literature I could find:  Covey's 7 Habits for Families.  I found a passage from p.61:  "As you live your values, your sense of identity, integrity, control, and inner-directedness will infuse you with both exhilaration and peace.  You will define yourself from within, rather than by people's opinions or by comparisons to others."  Then found Habit #2, Begin with the end in mind, "the habit of vision, of purpose, of mission."  Covey asks people to envision how they desire their days to go--each interaction, meeting, relationship, task.  Not to over-plan each detail, but decide what the "spirit of the day" should be.  I decided this could be my "inch"--waking up a few minutes before everyone else and envision how I desired the day to go…even deciding how I will interact with grumpy kids, stressful situations, or frustrating emotions.  I could also just look around and find the one shelf, one room, one task to complete at a time.

So that is the challenge:  What is your "inch"?  Find out what it is: planning dinner, playing with your kids, cleaning just one room, picking up just one backpack--whatever it is!  Don't let the overwhelming "yard" take over.  As we concentrate on the small "inches" at a time we'll begin to feel success, one small accomplishment at a time. :)  

Mommy Martyr...Thought Makeover #1

Poor me...If it wasn't for me, nothing would get done around here!  Does my family just think that stinky socks and backpacks left out are my favorite things to pick up?  Do they think their pajamas and wet towels left to mildew in a pile will somehow magically disappear?  Come to think of it, they DO magically disappear because (wah, wah) I put them away!  Don't they see I already have a MILLION things to do around here?  Meals, laundry, problem solving, cleaning, bills, taxes...come to think of it, I pretty much do it ALL!  Without me, this family would got to pot!  They don't even care.  When I finally build up enough to blow my top, their reaction to me is, 'Woah!  Mom!  Calm down!!  It's not that big of a deal...'  I'll tell them what a big deal is--they need to learn how to be responsible and independent!  I can't go around doing everything for them, all their lives!  (More introspectively, turning to self defeating thoughts)  What am I teaching them anyway?  What a horrible Mom I am--I can't even stick on top of things, let alone instill great 'life lessons' and 'inspirational thoughts/ attitudes' to my kids along the way!  Why do I even TRY?! 

Sound even vaguely familiar?  It is not a new occurrence in life!  In fact, there is even an instance in the Bible when Christ was teaching Martha and Mary that it seems to be illustrated.  
"Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who also sat at the Lord's feet and heard his word. But Martha was distracted with much serving; so she approached him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her then to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things; But one thing is needed and Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).  It is a lesson in priorities and in how we choose to spend our time, and to me, use our thoughts in "choosing the better part".

It is TRUE for most women I know: they are doers, solvers, check-off-the-list-ers.  They tend to carry the weight of the family and household duties on their shoulders.  Not that their husbands do nothing, but mainly because men don't SEE what THEY see, and certainly don't feel the urgency to DO things on the same time frame as us women!  We have to conquer as we go and do when we are thinking of it, or the many other tasks/issues of the day will overtake our energies and efforts and we may feel like "nothing" got done all day.  By the end of the day, we find ourselves exhausted on the couch in the evening, having run around all day long, feeling defeated and un-accomplished!

I had a moment like this last night as I was trying to do a fun Family Night activity for my family, and nobody seemed to care, but ME.  (Wah, wah)  I had borrowed a chocolate fountain for a get together for my daughter over the weekend, and despite the mess cleaning it up, I agreed to do it again as some of my kids didn't get a chance to be there.  Dinner was WAY later than I'd hoped, which threw everything else off.  Couldn't they see I needed help?  I was trying to feed everyone, and was trying to break up the massive chocolate block to get it melted down at the same time, burning our fancy Grilled Cheese menu along the way.  Everyone seemed oblivious.  Caught in TV shows, devices, homework, and asking how much longer til the chocolate was 'ready'.  Couldn't they see I couldn't do it 'all'?!  Maybe they should look around and start help cleaning up (Mondays no one is scheduled to help with dinner), or at LEAST get out all the things they want to dip in chocolate!  The strawberries need to be washed and dried off, the candy put in a dish, the bananas needed cutting up, etc.  The Little Red Hen story came to mind--I could sure teach them a lesson!  If you don't want to help, you don't get to share in the reward...

After a while, this "fun" and "amazing" Family Night memory I envisioned creating, instead turned into a Debbie Downer/Martyr Mother moment!  I noticed it all began with my annoyed and prideful thoughts about the situation and those around me.  Pretty soon, I allowed those thoughts to turn to how selfish and rude people were to not notice ME and how I was doing something amazing for THEM, and me gathering mental evidence on how, again, I "have to do everything"!  I finally realized my delusion ruining the moment, as my 2 year old boy rushed over when the chocolate fountain was finally "ready" and he squealed with delight when it was turned on and 3 tiers of choclately goodness cascaded down!  We ended letting everyone have WAY too much sugar and going to bed later than I planned, but I took heart knowing that this was something they would not forget.  I created a memory, just as I had wanted.

Now I realize a whole other post can be written on how to ask for help and sharing the load as a family, so don't think I am saying we SHOULD do it all and let everyone else get off scot-free, as teaching that principle is an important life lesson as well. But I will leave that portion for another time. However, as everyone went to bed and I was left to finish dipping what I could (to use the 4 pounds of chocolate it takes to get a fountain going!) and to clean up the mess, instead of playing my old "wah, wah"/"poor me" dialogue in my head, I realized the power for good or bad, of my THOUGHTS. 

I became aware of what I was allowing to go through my mind, and switched those to positive thoughts.  I decided to think of the fun of creating the chocolate treats--to let it be kind of artistic and creative, which in turn, lead me to enjoying the process, instead of thinking of how tired I was or how long it would take to clean up.  I thought of the excitement my kids would feel seeing the treats lined up for tomorrow (after a perfectly, well-balanced dinner, of course!).  Mostly, I remembered the POWER of my THINKING, and how changing what we allow into our minds, has everything to do with what we get from our experiences in life.  In fact, anytime I am having fun, it is because of what I am thinking inside!  Anytime I'm not enjoying something, it is because of what thoughts I'm generating as well.  

 Listen to what we are saying to ourselves, about ourselves, and about our lives...those thoughts give us powerful insight on why we are or are not happy.  More on thought makeovers later, but until then, think about our thoughts, and "choose the better part". :)        I