Moving Madness

This week, I have woken up to boxes, tape, and chaos around me.  It is 2 weeks to moving, and each day we are trying to chip away little by little to pack up this household of 7, so we don't get overwhelmed at the very end.  This is a blessing, and a curse, all at once!   It seemed like such a great idea, get ahead of the moving game so it's not all left to the last few days.  As I look around at what I call "the dregs of my house" all around me, I'm not convinced!  Sometimes pushing hard all at once can reap great rewards.

Now that I'm in the middle of packing up, all I can do is push through it!  It is like a woman going into labor--you realize there is no getting out of your predicament--you have to go through it before things improve!  I turn to my husband with a look of bewildered fear like, "what have we gotten ourselves into?!"  He smiles back and says, "Don't worry, it has to get worse before it gets better."  How true this is.  I can either look around and feel doom, since once you empty closets, drawers, and furniture, things appear worse off than when you started, OR, I can focus on the rooms, closets, and drawers that are now empty, marking progress.

As I thought of my current situation, a few things struck me as learning moments.  Moving has reminded me of the Starfish story.  We all are familiar with this popular allegory, when after a storm had washed hundreds of starfish onto the beach, a girl began picking one up at a time, and throwing them back into the ocean.  A man approached and told her she couldn't make a difference, there were too many starfish and her efforts wouldn't make a dent in the volume of starfish who needed help.  After reflecting and being a bit discouraged, she brightened with a thought and continued throwing the starfish back to sea.  Her response as she threw one back?  "I made a difference to that one!"

As I sit buried in a myriad of boxes, tape, and "the dregs of my house", I can either give in to feeling overwhelmed, which stunts my progress since I become paralyzed with the thought that "I'll NEVER get it all done", and that "there is so much to do I don't know where to start", which makes me freeze and do nothing, OR, focus on one "starfish" at a time--one box filled, one drawer emptied, one room done, recognizing that although I may not see a ton of progress on the overall task at hand, I did  "make a difference to that one" room/drawer/box.  What starfish do we see in our lives?  What can we do to "make a difference", one person, circumstance, or attitude at a time?  As I looked up the starfish story, I found a website called "Ordinary People Change the World"--again, underscoring the idea that ONE person has influence, power, and ability to make a difference.  I love that concept and believe so much in the power of ONE!  (More to come on that idea later.)

I also am amazed at how chaos and disorder can truly affect our ability to function and live productive lives.  1 Corinthians 14:33 states: "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace", and Paul tells the Corinthians, "Let all things be done decently and in order" (I Cor.14:40).  In modern revelation we find, "Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord God, and not a house of confusion."  I'm not implying that we have to have perfect order always, because that wouldn't allow us to take the time needed to focus on the PEOPLE in our homes, instead of perfect cleanliness.  However, my personal experience of living in "confusion" and disorder, it makes sense to me that my spirit struggles to function fully when surrounded by chaos and disorganization.  This principle applies to us literally, as I have described above, as well as emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, I believe.  What "confusion" and "disorder" do we have around us or that we deal with on these other levels that could use some attention, so we can live more productive lives, progressing?  I know God is a God of order, that He wants us to live in order, that He can teach us how to "declutter" our lives mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, so we can truly feel His PEACE.

Lastly, sometimes things really do "have to get worse before they can get better".  Just as having a splinter deeply stuck in your foot requires a doctor's care, or more pain to remove it before the wound can heal, or a mother "letting" her kids hurt as they get their immunizations so they don't get a major disease later, sometimes in life things feel worse off going through a difficulty, before we see any blessing from the experience.  I am most touched reading about people who, when facing a huge tragedy, still choose to turn something negative into something positive, facing it with faith and humility. 

“Don't be discouraged at seemingly overwhelming odds in your desire to live

and to help others live God's commandments. At times it may seem like David trying

to fight Goliath. But remember, David did win."

 ― David B. Haight

 

So, as I face my "Goliath" moving my family twice, I will focus on the future, that I'm gaining something better, reaching my ultimate destination.  My current surroundings may be "worse before they can get better", that I CAN make a difference, taking one "starfish" at a time, and remembering ultimately that "David did win".  We can trust the same for us, knowing that "With God, ALL things are possible to them that believe."

Toothpaste, TP, and Taupe

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” – Buddha

 There is a part of our brain called the reticular activator that stays on alert.  It's job is to help us notice some things and ignore others (because if we noticed everything, we'd not be too distracted to function).  When you shop for a new cell phone, you begin to notice others' phones and options, as your brain focuses and hones in on this detail--that is the reticular activator at work.  It is the part of the brain where motivation, goals, and even the body being awake or asleep is controlled.  It becomes a powerful force for good in our lives, as once we focus on a clear goal and are strongly motivated, it can go to work for us to help it come to fruition.

Here are some examples of the reticular activator working:  We are in the middle of building a home, and it seems no matter where we go, my mind notices home details, like the color of people's soffit and fascia, roof colors, rock selections, and if they have gridded windows or not!  It is the same if you want to paint a room taupe, suddenly your mind starts seeing taupe everywhere and you decide which shade is best for you.  When you are about to have a baby, you begin to notice and scrutinize the names of all those you come in contact with, and collaborate with others on what names you like.

Scientifically, this is all due to our reticular activator in our brain.  The overall principle is, what we focus on, good or bad, GROWS.  Meaning, whatever we hone in on, whether it be details of a home, paint colors, names for our children, or even just generally seeing things in a positive or negative light, our awareness of those things increases. 

Even more profoundly for me is this principle concerning relationships.  When I begin to notice the negative in something or someone, I tend to only find more.  And not because there truly is more negative in that person or situation, but most often, only because my mind subconsciously is focusing on the negative issue and therefore I become even more aware of it.  If your spouse leaves the toothpaste out with the lid off and it bugs you, you start noticing just how often this occurs!  If your child puts the toilet paper on "wrong" (is there really such a thing?!), our mind focuses on this each time we use the TP.

As silly as this seems, truly we see in our lives what we are concentrating on, whether consciously or subconsciously.  Our job is to help our mind hone in on what we want to "grow" and have more of in our lives.  Look for bad, we'll find it!  Look for good, we'll also find it.  It has never hurt me to have a little divine help on seeing good, especially when concerning others.  If I pray to help me see a person as God sees them, or a circumstance as He does, I'm only enlightened.  I come away with more humility, more compassion, and more love for that person.  Thomas Monson teaches: 

"We must develop the capacity to see men not as they are at present but as they may become…."

Here's to not concentrating on the TP and toothpaste, but choosing to see what is worth finding more of in our lives!  See others, ourselves, our lives, as they may become, when we choose to focus on seeing good. 

We are FREE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, U.S.A.!
Celebrating this Fourth of July, I'm so thankful for FREEDOM and for the many amazing men who lived and died so we could be "agents to ourselves".  For someone whose family is linked to George Washington, I can't help but think of the great people like him who sacrificed so much for the freedoms of those unknown millions who would follow after them. 

I was once taught that the power to choose, the power to be free agents for ourselves and live according to our desire and will, is something deeply innate and priceless to each of us, because it is what we all fought so fervently for in the War in Heaven before we came to earth.  It is exactly the difference between God's plan for us, and Satan's proposal that he force us to all make right choices, instead of allow us to choose for ourselves and gain experience. 

It is precisely why, when we feel someone is trying to force or coerce or manipulate us, we dig our heels in and feel so strongly against this dominion.  It truly goes against our grain, to the core.  We know how diligently we fought for our right to choose for ourselves, and our spirit is passionate that we live according to our will, not someone else's.

I draw a parallel in my mind, to Christ's role in helping us be "free".  Along side suffering for our sins, is not the true gift Christ gave us, and the price He paid,  for our gift of agency and spiritual freedom?  To do with this life what we will--to gain knowledge and lose ourselves in serving others, or to waste our time here away?  One wise prophet stated:  "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

So, what are we doing with our power of choice?  Do I choose to spend my time away, without much thought, or do I find out what I want to live for and be actively engaged "going about doing much good?"  Am I teaching my own children, that no matter the circumstances they find themselves in, they can be in control of how they react to what goes on around them and make it the best it can be?  What are we doing with "the time that is left"?

I was at a friend's home once when her grumpy daughter was rushing off to school, complaining of how she couldn't find her coat, she didn't want to walk to school, and she was going to be late, etc.  My friend sent her off with a, "Choose to be happy!  I love you.  Bye!"  Watching her daughter mope down the sidewalk, my friend opened the door and yelled again, "Choose happiness!  I know you can do it!"  Of any time, any era, and any people, how we should choose to live and be happy! 

We have great power over ourselves, our lives, our circumstances, simply by how we choose to view them. and use them.  I love the notion that in this cynical world, we can still find good.  In fact, it is our duty and responsibility to SEE the GOOD in the world.  We can be agents of change for the better, or live without passion or understanding that we could truly do much that mattered.  Listen to that spirit within us that knows we have a destiny and we have a part to play in God's great plan.  Let us be, like our forefathers, diligent in striving to pave a better way for those who follow after us.  We are free!  Let us choose to use this freedom and act and do, being an agent of change and goodness for those around us!  See Good, Be Good. :)